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Bone Daddy
Reviewed by Jan 3rd, 2010

I found this in a used-video rack at a supermarket, beside the likes of Ren & Stimpy, Jem, and (Gasp!) Basket Case for $4.95. Since I grew up watching crappy Rutger Hauer movies, I snatched it up. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Well, ok, Rutger Hauer has been in a lot of crappy movies, many crappier than this. Old-woman figure or no, this guy could carry an entire movie with his cool voice alone.

Rutger Hauer aside, this movie is a rather predictable forage into horror/thriller territory. William Palmer (Hauer) is an ex-medical examiner who’s taken up crime-fiction writing. Blah. As you may have expected, all hell breaks loose when he writes a book based on the unsolved, real-life case of “Bone Daddy,” a fellow who extracts people’s bones and leaves them in interesting places.

When the killer, enraged that he’s being fictionalized so badly, starts killing again, PAlmer ends up as a consultant for a young woman cop. For a moment I was terrified, thinking maybe this movie would descend into “buddy-cop” territory. Thankfully, it did not. There are some cool scenes in this film, but it’s mostly predictable, semi-entertaining garbage.

The main problem with this movie was the plot. The parts that you can follow are so inane it’s not even funny, and then there was the subject of the killer’s motives… On the upside, this is one of the few movies I’ve seen that had a living person from whom several bones had been extracted and sent as wedding presents. It gets one barrel for the fun contained in scenes like this, and one barrel for Rutger Hauer. However, there are many better movies you could wasting your rental money on.

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