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Amityville 2
Reviewed by Nov 30th, 2009

What a load of garbage! This movie is in the same category as the Exorcist sequels, in that it tries to cash in on the Exorcist. The main difference being that the original had nothing to do with the Exorcist; making it a blatant ripoff. It’s supposed to be an Amityville prequel, it tells the story of why the house is haunted. Or it’s supposed to, anyway, it fails horribly. It tries in vain to mix a haunted house, demonic possession, ghosts, poltergeists, murder, incest (!), and there’s even a couple zombie-looking things in one scene.

The first few moments are typical haunted-house fare. A feuding family moves into a new house, which just happens to have built on an ancient Indian burial ground. All the windows are nailed shut. The mover discovers a doorway in a closet, and offers to check it out. He goes in and tells the mother that there must be a broken sewer line. “What’s that all over you?” “Shit, ma’am. Pardon my language.” Later she feels a ghost-hand on her shoulder.

When they say grace before dinner, a mirror falls off the wall. That night they discover a sheet over the crucifix on the wall. The woman asks a priest to bless the house. When the two small children go to get him a glass of water, shelves start falling over and the father starts hitting the kids, and kicks the priest out.

Meanwhile Sonny, the teenage son, is feeling sick. He stops going to church and seduces his teenage sister. When the priest comes back to bless the house, Sonny doesn’t allow him to bless his room. When he blesses the mother’s room, blood appears on the floor. Uh oh, a sure sign of demonic possession! The priest goes to ask permission to perform an exorcism. Hmm, this storyline is starting to sound familiar…

Later Sonny gets out his trusty boomstick and shoots his entire family. After his arrest, the words “Save Me” appear and disappear on Regan’s (oops, wrong movie) I mean Sonny’s arm. The priest understands that Sonny isn’t to blame, and tries to get him out of jail. The guard, who appreciates the circumstances, lets the padre hit him on the back of the head and escape with Sonny.

He tries to take Sonny to the church, which of course does not work. So he goes back to the house of course, and proceeds with the exorcism. The demon/Sonny’s head starts crumbling while he shouts obscenities, but apparently that’s not a sign of success. “Let it be me!” the priest wails. So, as it went in a better movie, the demon goes into the priest’s body instead. He starts getting all weird looking, and any second I expected him to jump out the window and break his neck… But alas, we aren’t shown the priest’s fate.

The first half of the movie is so garbled, the continuity man should’ve been shot. On second thought, maybe they didn’t have one… You can’t figure out if this is a drama about an abusive father, an incest story about the teenagers, a haunted house tale, a murder story… The second half is practically quoted scene-for-scene from The Exorcist. The plagiarism in the last half hour of this film will blow you away. The acting is passable, the special effects aren’t bad, the directing is pretty good, the score is decent. Of course none of that makes up for the plot.

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